Momento Mori

Momento Mori

“Remember that you will die.”

The brevity of life is part of what makes it so special.  When I think about death, I am not really afraid.  No, I don’t want to die, but eventually I will. Instead, I want to make my life here on earth as full of meaningfulness as possible.  Over the past couple of years, I’ve changed my perspective of time an priority.  I heard on Running on Om, a great podcast by Julia Hanlon about life and running and great people, an analogy that the time left you have left in life is like a savings account, and its up to you how to spend your time.  I love this analogy.  Reflecting on death puts a limit to the time you have saved and really forces you to live to the fullest.  I am intentionally focusing on trying to make my relationships more meaningful, not that I valued them less before, but that this is really a priority for me and I want to put my energy into meaningful relationships.

Death or injury can come from anywhere.  Do what you love, with the people you love. Life is too short not to. And don’t forget to #WomanUp2016

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Writing prompt from my hero, Lauren Fleshman

Writing prompt from my hero, Lauren Fleshman

In her blog, Ask Lauren Fleshman, Lauren gives the writing prompt, to put pen to paper and write for 2 minutes. “What I really remember about that meal was…

…trying to eat with chopsticks, but anxiety making my hand shake so uncontrollably I could barely get food into my mouth.  I know this is where I belong, but this is not what I should be doing. Discounting my intuition makes me so unhappy.”

I’ve been searching for inspiration, and  am being drawn to the topic of anxiety, something I’ve suffered from without even noticing for years, even decades perhaps. I hope to use this medium to investigate the anxiety I feel and how to perform (in sport career, and life) despite fear and feelings of uncertainty. 

The Art of Manliness Journal Challenge

The Art of Manliness Journal Challenge

Somehow a post from the Art of Manliness showed up in my twitter feed.  I believe that the Art of Manliness is a blog about some cool shit (such as, the ultimate pushup guide), they assume the majority of people interested in their topics are men. I don’t mind. I follow many websites/blogs/sports where the assumed audience is women-only. Its fine.

I digress.  This tweet led me to an entry on the topic of journaling.  It provides 31 journal topics meant to be a ‘roadmap’ to help one develop the healthy habit of journaling.  When I started this blog, I failed at following Blog-U. But new year, new attention span for Kari.  I hope to develop a healthy writing habit and am using you all as my audience.

Why am I doing a 31 day challenge? Several reasons. I want to develop a consistent writing habit. I want to have a space to clear my mind, so when I sit down to write at work (or here) there aren’t 500 million competing ideas all vying for my attention.  These are the two biggest reasons I want to write, and you can see are very closely related.  In fact, I dare to assert that the ladder is merely more of a why for the former.  Practicing writing is practicing communication. I often struggle with this. I have so much going on in my head, I think through a (fake) conversation in my head, and forget that I haven’t actually had that conversation with the other person and wonder why they don’t already know the information I’ve been thinking about telling them.  Its silly, I know.

Writing & communicating, like the rest of my life, needs to be simple. If I had to desginate a theme to the direction I am attempting to move my life towards, it would be simplicity. I am trying to organize my appartment, stop my addiction to stuff, be measured and calculated in my actions. I want the things that are in my life and take up my time reflect what I actually care about.  So what do I care about? I can go through a list of people that I care about, but what it boils down to is, I care about people. There are different levels: first my personal relationships, the safety of my fellow Americans, the safety of innocent people across the globe. I want to live simply, simply live to create a better space for those around me near and far. By the way, If you follow me at all you know that, yes, I do indeed include my dog when I speak generally about ‘people.’

So, why am I journaling a 31 day art of manliness challenge? As an exercise for me to be a better person for the world.

Do you see what happened there?  I started writing this and thought it was a lame, dry “here’s what I’m going to be writing about this month” that I would inevitably not follow through with (because life), and ended with a humanitarian devotion to selflessly make myself better.  I think this journaling thing is working!

Aside, my Believe training journal was delivered yesterday. Unfortunately its somewhere in the front house. I can’t wait to start journaling for my #womanup2016